CONFIDENCE IS NOT SOMETHING WE HAVE OR NOT, IT’S SOMETHING WE BUILD.
When I was working in the fashion business, it was apparent that how we dress makes us more or less confident. However, I don’t believe we can buy confidence, yet brands bank on that. The marketing triggers us into believing that when we wear the right brand, we will feel confident because we are part of “that group of people who….” However, I didn’t find that to be true. I found that to be false confidence. We might be confident about choice, but we might not feel confident about who we are. I know. It’s complex, and I’m not trying to play with words here. I consistently found that people felt confident in what they wore when it was socially acceptable and made them feel good because it matched their personality.
These days, we talk a lot about bringing our whole selves to work, and within that is the conversation of how we look and what we wear as part of self-expression. When I first came to the US and was interviewing for a job, I was told they were interested and… I had to wear a dress and stockings to work every day. I said no to the job. I would have felt so uncomfortable and beside myself dressing like that. It was part of their office attire but not mine. I can dress for the office, but they wanted me to look like someone I’m not. Thankfully, we have come further than that. However, the conversation about how we look and dress to build confidence is missing the point of how it makes you feel from the inside out. Are you comfortable? Does it match your personality?
When designing retail stores for fashion designers, I always asked them how they wanted people to FEEL in their clothes because that’s the feeling I wanted people to have in the store, too.
TRUE CONFIDENCE IS ABOUT COMING HOME TO OURSELVES.
We cannot build confidence based on being liked and accepted because it only gives us a false sense of security in not being rejected.
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Originally published on August 24, 2023 at JeanetteBronee.com.