And turn your INNER CRITIC into your INNER COACH.
I think you know what I am talking about. That chatter inside your head that keeps telling you that “you cannot do it” rather than “go for it!”. Yup. He or she is with you all the time. There is nothing wrong with you for having one. We all have one.
Say hello to your Inner Critic.
We often feel that we are never doing well enough and think that being hard on ourselves will help “push” us to perform better. Familiar? You might also recognize this trait as perfectionism, or as being “negative.” In fact, negativity is part of our survival mechanism: our need for self-defense and self-preservation makes us inclined to look suspiciously on anything new that enters our environment, and keeps us inherently on our guard. In the absence of predators and constant danger, we can turn this vigilance toward ourselves, creating a fight-or-flight response simply by being on our own back. The resulting stress drains our energy, makes us feel hopeless, and zaps our sense of Self. The repeated thoughts of being “not enough” and “not good enough” leave an imprint on our heart and soul. What if I said, “There is nothing wrong with you”? Would you argue and start out with a “But…”?
When we constantly look at ourselves as being wrong and never reaching that illusionary goal of perfection, we come face to face with our inner critic. We might tell ourselves we are only trying to get better at something, but we are really just beating ourselves up all the time.
The inner critic is a learned condition that has the feeling of an inner voice. It demeans, shames, and guilt-trips us. We don’t start out with an inner critic, it’s something we pick up along the way: in our families, at school, or as kids who tease each other. We compare ourselves to others; it’s part of our desire to belong, to be part of a whole. Our concern to be good enough stems from an attempt, rooted in childhood, to avoid rejection. Everyone has one, so don’t start criticizing yourself for your inner critic now, say hello to it instead!
A lot happens within us when our inner critic creates our perception of ourselves. Not only do we always doubt ourselves and wonder if we are doing it — whatever “it” is — right or wrong, but we also have a very hard time with self-acceptance and self-acknowledgement. This runs us into the ground — emotionally, energetically and even physically. When we are looking to be “right,” we tend to get very rigid and seek the one solution we assume is the only correct one. We live in fear of being rejected and feel a lot of anger towards others and toward ourselves — which means we also live with a constant heartache, because we keep disappointing ourselves. This constant internal chatter leads to stress, worry, sleepless nights, and excessive work schedules, creating a need to disconnect with mindless actions such as over-eating, emotional eating, alcohol, or other distractions — all of which are just techniques to get us away from our inner critic!
Ironically, in the pursuit of “being right,” we become very narrow in our approach to life, losing touch with ourselves, our possibilities, our options, and our intuitive guidance. What if you could learn to trust yourself more? The pursuit of doing something right is driven by the idea that we will be “safe” when we are “there,” which is part of the illusion of perfection: “When I am perfect, I will be happy and safe.”
The pursuit of perfection is our longing to fit in, belong, and be loved. Doesn’t that deserve some compassion for your Self instead? This is an essential piece of the puzzle of how we practice self-nourishment. Becoming friends with our inner critic.
Join me for the online program. I developed this program so that it works and feels as if you are having 9 sessions with me. It is only $180 for the entire program, plus tons of recipes, tools and other tidbits for one whole year. Or work with me in person for one-on-one sessions: 9 step program in person $ 1395. 9 step program in person plus the online program $ 1575
Start by stopping these self-judging habits:
1. Stop telling yourself you need to fix yourself – because that would mean you are broken and you are not. The inner coach says; how can you grow?
2. Learn to face and embrace your fears about not being good enough. The inner coach says; what do you need to learn so you can grow?
3;. The perfectionist says, when…then… That it s mind-game that you will never win (but you knew that). The inner coach says; accept you as you are because you can only LOVE your-Self “better”.
Learn more about how to shift from the inner critic to the inner coach in the online program and much much more about how to grow your Self, your health, and your SELF-LOVE. And we all want some of that right?
WHAT YOU LEARN in the online program:
Food Knowledge: Your body’s natural rhythms and how they affect you
Mindfulness: How to get familiar with your daily patterns
Habit Shifting: How to create new habits and daily rhythms
Food Knowledge: Carbohydrates and why you need them
Mindfulness: Why your negative “self-talk” does not work
Habit Shifting: How to change your self-talk to empower you to thrive
Food Knowledge: Why green foods are “super choices”
Mindfulness: Why willpower usually fails us
Habit Shifting: How to move beyond self-control
Food Knowledge: Protein, fats, and how to choose
Mindfulness: How to get unstuck
Habit Shifting: How to create healthy boundaries
Food Knowledge: The power of root vegetables
Mindfulness: Food and memories
Habit Shifting: How to become comfortable with discomfort
Food Knowledge: Comfort foods, cravings and food addictions
Mindfulness: Food and emotional eating
Habit Shifting: How to cope with emotions in healthy ways
Food Knowledge: Which foods cause inflammation and which are healing
Mindfulness: How to own your choices
Habit Shifting: How to get what you want and empower your life
Food Knowledge: Balancing food choices
Mindfulness: Shifting the beliefs that block your path
Habit Shifting: How to think differently
Food Knowledge: Food and how it affects your mood
Mindfulness: How to embrace your whole Self and face your fears
Habit Shifting: How to be your authentic, healthy Self