Pot-hole or growth?
Throughout my life I have had change come at me when I least expected it. I am pretty good at making decisions, when something feels right for me. I am also not scared of change, when I can see the road ahead or when I believe that it will be good change. However, like so many other people, when we don’t know what will happen, we tend to wait to create change until we have to or we hit a “pothole” on life’s journey and we have to stop and reflect on where we are going. Even when we know it is time for change, even when it hurts to stay where we are, when we long to grow emotionally, mentally, personally and professionally, even then we tend to wait. But what are we waiting for? Even when we long to feel better and get healthy, we tend to wait to clean up our habits, until something happens where we simply have to.
Why are we so scared of challenging ourselves? We tend to wait until the pain of staying stuck is bigger than the pain of change. Yes change is effort and it feels like pain.
For the past 15 years of coaching people to take charge of their health and daily wellbeing, the challenge always comes back to habits and getting stuck in what we are familiar with, because it is within our comfort zone. Even when our comfort- zone is not that comfortable. Part of the problem is that we are not very forgiving when it comes to ourselves and we think that we have to be perfect, rather than realizing that change is clumsy. Now, what if we could be curious instead?
What if we could look forward and wonder what we would do with change, rather than what change would do to us?
Two step forward, and one steps back is still forward.
Sometimes we decide to make a change, only to keep falling back into old habits. It is not easy, but it is possible. It is possible to create a life we love, but it starts with seeing change as a journey. It starts with having the courage to look inside and discover you own special, silly, beautiful, funny, clumsy, awkward, lovely self. And then there is also the dark side of ourselves, the parts we want to hide and the parts we don’t love because they are not so fluffy, or sweet, or pretty.
The thing is, nothing about being human is ever perfect. Life is not about perfection, it is about discovery.
I have had the pleasure of working with a very special human being for most of my years as a coach. Alice started out wanting to improve her health and avoid disease and as we worked together over the years, she courageously wanted to learn more about herself, her own body and her journey in life. I admire this woman so much for her persistent exploration and desire for growth and deep learning. Especially about herself. I want to be like her when I am in my mid 70’s. Still learning and growing, still doing her yearly detox to keep her health and daily agility a top priority.
I asked her if she would write about her experience for the blog and this is her letter.
A journey home
‘If not for her”–I could begin many conversations with this phrase, because of the long list of women who have generously contributed to my life’s directions and accomplishments. Off the top of my head I can list at least 7 who I know personally. And then there is the wealth of writers, artists, musicians and activists that I’ve not met, but whose work have made important impact. This phrase is of particular significance since the establishment of the “Me Too movement founded by the black Civil Rights activist, Tarana Burke in 2006. The movement has gained traction and continues to grow as a women continue to come together on many fronts, supporting each other with a very special kind of love and respect.
Among the loving women on my list is Jeanette Bronee, who I came to know 13 years ago through another loving woman, a very special non-traditional and great Yoga teacher, Rochelle Rice. To say that Jeanette is a Nutritionist, is to offer a very narrow description of her work. Indeed she is a skilled Nutritionist, but in offering that guidance, she does so in a much broader format.
In my experience it has been a “trip to me”—an open door to “me” discovering my whole self.
A dialogue begins as you listen to your body and discover your personal relationship with food and what that means. You learn that self-nourishment extends beyond eating healthy. It’s a beginning that extends to the whole self, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
You feel the love and power that comes with the understanding that you can own your “emotional” real estate—the whole self. The knowledge you gain forms a self-nourishment toolkit filled with all the tools you need to perpetuate total loving kindness for a best self in all aspects of life.
Confidence comes and builds from knowing that you are in charge of and capable of bringing your best self inside and out. A special gift is always present waiting for you to untie that ribbon on the beautifully wrapped gift box and receive that which is within. Reach inside take out and use your own personal tool kit designed just for you and discover the joy of what it means to be able to do the life-long work learning, growing in all aspects of your life–the ultimate gift of loving kindness. It makes for a perfect gift on any occasion. A gift you give yourself.
Written by Alice Lilly, 2/10/19
So I invite you to join me for some change
I created a new short online program that helps you clean up your body and your habits. It is not a complete overhaul but it is good start on creating change in your health and your habits. It is good start on feeling better, taking charge and live better. Heck it helps you work better too, because when you tackle some of these daily impulses to snack or eat for comfort, or be an accidental eater because you didn’t think ahead and figured you would deal with it when you got hungry. That moment when it is too late to choose what to eat, because you would eat your co-worker if that wouldn’t get you in more trouble.
Because you are one of my peps and because it is the middle of February and we can start smelling spring around the corner… you can use code “comeclean” for 50% off until the end of February. The program is usually $99, so make a choice to create some change in your life… now.
Cover image by Ross Findon from Unsplash